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Lord Dubu

Awesome movies that would completely suck.

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Last night I was given a blu-ray copy of Big Trouble in Little China by someone who knows me well enough to know that I think it's the single greatest work of cinema ever to have graced celluloid. Of course it doesn't take long to know me well enough to know I have this opinion. I pretty much open conversations with it. "Hi! I'm Heath. And I think Big Trouble in Little China is the single greatest work of cinema ever to have grace celluloid." Which is part and parcel to why I don't have many friends, but i digress.

 

Jack asks Wang Chi to clue him into what the deal with LoPan is and Wang Chi offers a vague story about how LoPan was cursed with nods to ancient armies of the dead and monkey sacrifices. And I thought to myself how awesome would it be if someone convinced John Carpenter to do a prequel about the fall of LoPan. And for a minute I thought this was an awesome epic and huge idea. Then I realized that there's almost zero chance today's industry wouldn't turn it into a CG fest with a westerner shoe-horned into the story for white appeal.

 

From cruising the forums here I'm pretty sure many of you have had similar voila-oh crap moments daydreaming about films that could be and I thought it might be fun to share them. So what awesome movie do you hope never gets made and why would it suck?

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