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I actually think Chuck himself started the whole thing ;)




Actually Tim, the Chuck Norris Facts were actually started as Vin Diesel facts.....I guess some fan started punching in Norris' name and it became WAYYYYYYYYYYY more popular than Vin Diesel's. He was on the Best Damn Sports Show talking about it. He even mentioned a couple of his favorite ones, but I don't remember them cause in my opinion, they were the less humorous ones.



~Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.





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Jack Bauer facts are also great:


"If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice"

"When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack found it and put it back."

"If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12"

"Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone."

"Jack Bauer killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball."

"If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris."

"Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won."

"The bumper sticker on Jesus's car reads, "WWJBD?""

"Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice."

"Jack Bauer’s gun is actually a water pistol, but the water shoots out in the form of bullets. Why? Because the gun is being held by Jack fucking Bauer."

"Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people."

"When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade."

"If you are still conscious, it is because Jack Bauer doesn’t want to carry you."

"Jack Bauer doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away."

"Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer."

"Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk."

"Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man."



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Guest AdminGuyX

I'm think I'm guilty of Mom getting the crush on Chuck Norris. She hadn't watched him before the day I had Breaker Breaker playing on cable! Mom still watches Walker Texas Ranger every damn day.


I was a big Chuck Norris fan in my youth too. From "Breaker Breaker" all the way up to "Hitman" I guess. The Octagon is a favorite for sure. A Force of One. All the 80's ass kicking films he did were alright by me. By all rights I shouldn't have been watching those films back then Andy.


It's all your fault I saw stuff like "48 hours" when I was 11 years old. Well, you and Harry. hahaha.


I watched Lone Wolf McQuade on Encore the other day and even though I laughed my ass off all the way through it because of how bad it is, that film still holds a sliver of cool for me. It just does. When he drives that truck out of the hole after pouring beer on himself, I thought "Shit, try doing that in a film today."


It made me want to watch "Night of The Comet" too.




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what...now you tell me that 48 hours isn't a kids film? Next somebody will try ans tell me that TERMINATOR isn't a love story!(that one's for you TGC, Merry Christmas, cause I know you're out there.)...yeah right.


Just imagine how screwed up you'd be if you watched BARNIE for 8 hours a day instead of Chuck, Superfoot Wallace, Bruce or Leon Issac Kennedy in those 30 or 40 Penitentiary movies he made back in the 80's!


....probably be a searial killer or even a comicbook artist.....heheheheheh......

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  • 3 months later...

So what happened when you and Snake Eyes talked Street?


I know you didn't hear the Dennis Quaid vs. Storm Shadow story from him.




Oh yeah almost forgot to share this important fact with the rest of you:


A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.





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  • 5 months later...

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