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Gail

Worst film ever seen..........

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Ok chaps - since we've had the Top Ten films of the last decade (as asked by @wearerenegade on IG), I thought I'd ask your opinions on the worst films you've ever sat through (not restricted to the last decade).  I don't mean just ones where the subject didn't grab you, or you watched because there was nothing else on, or even the 'so bad it's good' ones, I mean the ones that have usually been hyped by critics and the media then you're left thinking "Why have I just wasted two hours+ of my life on THAT?".  This thought occurred to me as I've recently had the misfortune to watch the 'must-see' Ad Astra with Brad Pitt and I swear I would've had more fun watching wood warp!  There were so many plot holes, scientific inaccuracies and plain old bad acting I'm pretty sure it wasn't released into cinemas, it just escaped when nobody was looking.......I'm usually a sucker for decent sci-fi and there is so much scope for inventiveness and creativity in the genre (a certain TV series has proved this point, think you know the one I mean!😉) but this was a proper dud.  

So, any thoughts on the subject of bad films?  Care to add any that have made you wish time travel was a thing, just so you could get the time back?  (I have more but this is the one that's annoyed me most recently.) Or if you want to point out what I missed with this particular flick, please let me know!  I know that as a rule, a lot of time and effort go into filmmaking and I'm not suggesting for one second that I could do a better job, but then I'm not expecting people to pay to come and see my work!

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That's a good question Gail 😊

My problem is I tend to forget the movies I particularly disliked 😅 And, to be fair, I don't often hate a movie. Usually it's more a "Meh" reaction.

That being said, the last movie I remember being strongly disappointed by -and even angry at- is probably Suicide Squad. I found it ugly, non-coherent, with bad acting, boring characters and bad rythm. I usually don't have super high expectations with superheroes movies, but with this one... I don't know. The concept was interesting and full of potential, but the result was a complete mess. A joke even, and a bad one. The fact that I had to pay an rather expensive cinema ticket to see it surely didn't help... But somehow, some people seem to like it. Good for them I suppose ^^ Everyone has the right to love or hate a movie, there's no accounting for taste.

I haven't watched Ad Astra, and didn't planned to, especially knowing your opinion about it now x)

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Nice one AI - Suicide Squad is absolutely a case in point!  It was hyped to within an inch of its life, probably because Will Smith was topping the bill, and the end result would have been forgettable if it hadn't been quite so bad........as you say it could have, and probably should have, been fantastic but this was an incoherent mess with very little to commend it.  I know it's a subjective thing, and (thankfully) everyone has different tastes but isn't this what test screenings are for??  This was clearly DC trying to do a Marvel inspired film but it so didn't come off.  (Flip side, recently saw 'Shazam!' and loved it for its warmth, humour and simplicity of story.  And Mark Strong!)

Another sci-fi one that revved me off the clock was 'Skyline' - flawed premise from the off was aliens that for some reason are scared of water, but still they come to a planet that's 70% water in search of 'fuel'...........go figure 🙄🤬. Special FX were kind of okay but the acting was so wooden, people must have got splinters on set.

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At the risk of getting digitally stoned by nerds, I have to admit I slept while "watching" Tron. Tron is sooo famous, but I was too young at that time. So the movie stood in my "to watch" list since quite some years (several decades tbh 🙀) and a few weeks back we decided to watch it finally. I was quite excited but it has just gotten too old. And not thrilling.

To me it's a good example of Sci-Fi movies that age quickly... or not (like Solyent Green or Blade Runner which stay fit).

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Whilst I think about it, I also have a minor problem with the Terminator franchise - bear with me while I try to explain my issue!

T1 - Arnie is a Terminator sent back in time to kill Sarah Connor before she can give birth to John, who will lead the resistance against Skynet in the future.  So far, so good.  But then we learn in Terminator 2 that the chap responsible for developing Skynet reverse engineered the technology from the CPU recovered from the first Terminator.  So...............why did the first one come back at all?  I mean, if he hadn't come back, no CPU, therefore no Skynet, therefore no problem, right?  Or have I missed something really obvious?  Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the films (well, the first two anyway) but once this thought had occurred to me I can't watch it without it making my brain itch 🤔🤔

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My worst film used to be Lost in Space, after all, with Gary Oldman and William Hurt (plus a young Jared Harris) in the cast, you'd expect something good, right? Wrong. The film was beyond dire. I can't even begin to list its crimes against good cinema.

As I said, it used to be the worst film I'd ever seen, until Avatar - an unjustifiably over-hyped film of unparalleled thinly-veiled woncey pseudo native American drivel. In addition, the powers that be couldn't even be bothered to come up with a decent name for its maguffin. Unobtanium? ORLY? Far too much of the budget was spent on Buzzwordium and Wishalloy, and not enough on Sriborium and Bardolite. 

And then.... and then.... along came Wonder Woman. Now, the thing is, I know that DC films (barring the first two Dark Knights) are inevitably terrible (needless to say, I didn't even bother with Suicide Squad), so why did I take a punt on Wonder Woman? Ever the eternal optimist, I guess. Plus, even people who weren't keen on DC stuff told me it was a great movie, and like a fool, I trusted them. I wish I hadn't. I wish I'd trusted my instincts. I'll never get back that wasted time. Like Black Panther and Jodie Whittaker's Doctor Who, Wonder Woman was nothing more than an overly-hyped ham-fisted attempt at box-ticking, with almost nothing of any substance to justify the time and money spent on it. At least with Black Panther, most of the visuals were up to spec (discounting the tacky-fleece-blankets-that-are-really-shields).

 

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And there’s two more that are on my list!  
Avatar - never have I felt more preached at under the guise of entertainment!  Granted the effects were phenomenal but my God, they did beat you round the head with their worthiness!!

And I agree with every word about Wonder Woman - didn’t buy Gal Gadot as the Amazonian heroine (especially since she had no moral problem using femininity to her advantage in the Fast & Furious franchise).  Frankie Adams would have rocked in that though - pretty and kickass!!

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37 minutes ago, Gail said:

 Frankie Adams would have rocked in that though - pretty and kickass!!

Oh my goodness, you are so right! I'd want Taika Waititi directing, though. 😍

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Oh my good lord - I want to see that film NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥰

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40 minutes ago, Gail said:

Oh my good lord - I want to see that film NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥰

Right! 

Mind you, I am completely biased where Taika is concerned! (And he could direct me any time!)

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I seem to be in a minority with 'Arrival' as well - aliens arrive in some weird-ass ships, let people on board (as you do), and appear to communicate via a series of Rorschach ink blots.  Amazingly these are deciphered quick sharp despite having no common vocabulary and then there's some time warping nonsense explanation but for the life of me I can't figure out what the hell was going on.

I think I need help ☹️

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On 1/18/2020 at 6:51 PM, Enaira said:

At the risk of getting digitally stoned by nerds, I have to admit I slept while "watching" Tron. Tron is sooo famous, but I was too young at that time. So the movie stood in my "to watch" list since quite some years (several decades tbh 🙀) and a few weeks back we decided to watch it finally. I was quite excited but it has just gotten too old. And not thrilling.

To me it's a good example of Sci-Fi movies that age quickly... or not (like Solyent Green or Blade Runner which stay fit).

Nobody's going to stone you - they'd have to get through us first! 😉

I do agree with you about how quickly/badly some sci-fi films age........conversely, even though I'm not a massive fan of '2001: A Space Odyssey' I have to admit it has held up pretty well considering it was made 50+ years ago!

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2 hours ago, Gail said:

I seem to be in a minority with 'Arrival' as well - aliens arrive in some weird-ass ships, let people on board (as you do), and appear to communicate via a series of Rorschach ink blots.  Amazingly these are deciphered quick sharp despite having no common vocabulary and then there's some time warping nonsense explanation but for the life of me I can't figure out what the hell was going on.

I think I need help ☹️

I haven't seen it but it does sound as though it suffers from the same thing that so much SciFi suffers from, that no matter how alien the tech (or in this case, language) is, our heroes can always fly the spaceship!

2 hours ago, Gail said:

Nobody's going to stone you - they'd have to get through us first! 😉

I do agree with you about how quickly/badly some sci-fi films age........conversely, even though I'm not a massive fan of '2001: A Space Odyssey' I have to admit it has held up pretty well considering it was made 50+ years ago!

I enjoyed Tron when it was first released but I re-watched it a few years back, and yep, it really hadn't aged well. At all. I didn't bother with the new one. I never liked 2001 - I found it really boring - but I agree about it holding up well.

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20 minutes ago, Nicole said:

I haven't seen it but it does sound as though it suffers from the same thing that so much SciFi suffers from, that no matter how alien the tech (or in this case, language) is, our heroes can always fly the spaceship!

With you all the way here - may I cite ' Independence Day' as an example?  Whilst I can just about get on board with finding exactly the right 'virus' to defeat the nasty aliens, what are the chances that their ships have a simple joystick control?  And how come, whether the aliens have claws or they're just some amorphous blob, they always have the most fantastically complex ships?  How in the name of all that's holy did they manage to build them? 

And why has nobody explained the Terminator yet?? 🤪

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12 hours ago, Gail said:

And why has nobody explained the Terminator yet?? 🤪

giphy.gif

 

Although there's this... https://collider.com/terminator-timeline-explained/

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12 hours ago, Gail said:

With you all the way here - may I cite ' Independence Day' as an example?  Whilst I can just about get on board with finding exactly the right 'virus' to defeat the nasty aliens, what are the chances that their ships have a simple joystick control?  And how come, whether the aliens have claws or they're just some amorphous blob, they always have the most fantastically complex ships?  How in the name of all that's holy did they manage to build them? 

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1 hour ago, Nicole said:

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Hahaha!  You funny! 🤣🤣🤣

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1 hour ago, Nicole said:

Oooo-kaaaay.....I’ve read this piece and now I’m a drooling idiot with a headache and a melted brain (not much difference from before I read it then 😉)

I kinda sorta get where they’re coming from, but seems a bit of a cop out to say that Judgement Day was ultimately inevitable - or maybe I’m just being über picky!!!  Thanks anyway Nicole x

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40 minutes ago, Gail said:

Oooo-kaaaay.....I’ve read this piece and now I’m a drooling idiot with a headache and a melted brain (not much difference from before I read it then 😉)

I kinda sorta get where they’re coming from, but seems a bit of a cop out to say that Judgement Day was ultimately inevitable - or maybe I’m just being über picky!!!  Thanks anyway Nicole x

I don't think you are (either melty brain or picky!); I agree, it smacks of lazy storytelling and a massive cop-out. 

On a somewhat related note, back in 2004, I had a week's work in LA, so visited Universal Studios, which was masses of fun. One of the attractions was Skynet, and I have to say that the massive robots looming over the audience were flimmin' terrifying! It was all done so well.

(You really don't want to know how much I screamed while in the Van Helsing castle, when people jumped out at me - proof that I am a complete wimp.)

On a completely unrelated note, while there, I had a meal at a cool American Italian restaurant, and my server was a really fun guy called James... who, it turned out, played Clem the demon in Buffy! He was waiting tables while appearing in top-rated TV shows - give you some insight into how little some actors are paid. The place is full of struggling actors; I'm sure if dedication were a guarantee of stardom, they'd all be household names!

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On 1/20/2020 at 1:50 PM, Nicole said:

On a completely unrelated note, while there, I had a meal at a cool American Italian restaurant, and my server was a really fun guy called James... who, it turned out, played Clem the demon in Buffy! He was waiting tables while appearing in top-rated TV shows - give you some insight into how little some actors are paid. The place is full of struggling actors; I'm sure if dedication were a guarantee of stardom, they'd all be household names!

Guess you’ve gotta have a stroke of luck in Tinsel Town, admire their dedication!

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Can I also submit Indiana Jones and The Crystal Skull cobblers to this thread?  Only one question needs asking..... 

WHY??????

I mean, the franchise was doing just fine and then they throw us this half-arsed nonsense.  Love Harrison Ford and have massive respect for John Hurt but dear God, this reeked!!!!!!

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36 minutes ago, Gail said:

Can I also submit Indiana Jones and The Crystal Skull cobblers to this thread?  Only one question needs asking..... 

WHY??????

I mean, the franchise was doing just fine and then they throw us this half-arsed nonsense.  Love Harrison Ford and have massive respect for John Hurt but dear God, this reeked!!!!!!

Oh dear gods, yes! I'd almost managed to expunge that from my memory!

I used to really enjoy Temple of Doom... until I re-watched (part of) it after having lived in India. I realised just how horrible the racial stereotyping was. 😯 😢

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HA, fun read this. Keep it going. 

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Fun to do as well, although I’m beginning to suspect I’m far grumpier about the subject than I thought I was!! 😠
Do you have anything to add Geoff?

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Ooh, might I add The Unbearable Lightness of Being?

In truth, the fact that the only people I knew who'd watched and enjoyed it were utterly pretentious knobbers should've triggered flashing warning lights and klaxons; however, undaunted, I went for it. I lasted roughly 17.3 minutes before I wanted to get all Oedipus on my eyeballs.

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