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Tim Bradstreet

Facebook/Friend sites - ETC

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I'll open with Facebook.

There is a lot to like and a lot to . . . not like ;)

The obvious thing I dig is the connecting with folks I ain't seen nor heard from in many moons.

Childhood pals, former colleagues, school chums, etc . . .

It also works well for me professionally. I've been able to cultivate more than a few new client relationships through FB.

Then there's the connections coming out of the blue, like Michael J. Bassett (Director of Solomon Kane) reaching out to me.

How cool is that? Friend sites do have their good points.

 

But one of the things I despise is . . . Shit, I guess it's "some people".

Some people bring a kind of entitlement to their communications . . .

My message box is stupid. I cannot possibly reply to everyone. Right now there are around 900 un-replyed-to communications in there.

That's not bragging, are you kidding? I'm ashamed. I'm reasonably sure that most of those people would in some respects appreciate a response of some kind yet I'm too busy to get back to them.

But goodness, there are only so many hours in the day and it snowballs like you wouldn't believe.

You get on one of these things and it can really open a can of worms.

 

. . . So yeah, the entitlement thing - FB puts a cap on how many friends you can have. That's a big problem for me because I want to be able to accept anyone who asks.

I did that for a year and then hit the FB friend cap wall. I've got about 90 spots left. I'm reserving them for people who are family or people that I know personally.

I can't even "like" anything right now because I have too many requests. I don't want to outright ignore the request either. I send at least 8-10 messages out a day replying to the oldest requests first.

I ask them to understand that my page is full and direct them towards my other page (which is more of a fan page), no limits with that page in terms of folks who "like".

But it's different see, it's not a personal page, and some folks get downright snappish that I'd even suggest it.

 

For example: I get a mail yesterday from a guy who has obviously requested friendship sometime in the past 4 weeks. It reads simply "How about a friend accept?"

I message him back - Sorry (dude's name), my page is packed to the gills. I sincerely appreciate the request but I'm reserving the last few spots for personal friends and family. I hope you understand, etc . . . Please join me at my companion page." - Then I add a link.

Now 9 times out of 10 the people are completely respectful, they understand totally. Then there's that 10% of the time that someone gets offended. What? How? Why?

 

I get a snide reply back from the fella - "Thanks for nothing but no thanks."

I've also gotten these replies - "What an asshole." Or, "I used to think you were cool but obviously you're just another pretentious jerkoff."

Riiiiiiiiiight, I'm a pretentious jerkoff ;)

That one had me laughing. I showed it to my wife and she wanted to kill the dude. I was like Hon, c'mon, these people are obviously limping around with a loose spoke.

But yeah, it can be annoying as hell.

 

The thing is I'm in a bit of a quandary because I cannot take the loads of time needed to manage these requests the way I'd like to. For every person I respond to, I get 2-3 new requests.

I know, boo-hoo ;) But seriously, the problem won't get better, no way, not unless FB uncaps the friend limit. It'll just continue as it does.

I've changed the statement on my page to read - "This page is full - Please join me here (link)", but somehow no one seems to read that, or it goes unnoticed for the most part.

The other solution I can see is one I'd hate, simply denying the requests as they come in if it's not someone I recognize.

That'd be just horrible. So I take 15 minutes a day to say no as nicely as possible to a few folks and meanwhile the list of requests just gets longer.

My wife can't even get 15 minutes out of me a day to help with yard work!

 

Anyone got any ideas?

Thanks - Tim

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I stay away from all this 'social networking' shit. But that's mostly because I'm a really private person.

 

You can always abandon it and create a super secret Facebook page for you're close friends/family.

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Quite the long post, Bradstreet. This must’ve been on your mind for some time now. Glad to get it off your chest?

 

In the time you wrote this post, I bet you received more requests you don’t have time to respond to. ;)

 

Personally, I don’t have a Facebook, but I think it’s great you do, Tim. That should be enough. You can’t please everyone. Nor should you feel like you have to. The fact that you offer a solution means you’re trying. And that’s all you need to really do.

 

Considering how busy you are, I don’t know how you manage time to update your website and keep us posted on RAW. Let alone find time for Facebook.

 

I can’t believe that guy called you a “pretentious jerkoff.” Totally wrong of him to do that. Give me his name. I’ll give him a talking to and set him straight for ya. A lot of people can get kind of sensitive. You don’t deserve to read “Hate Messages.” Not cool. Actually, that really makes me :angry: that some people send that stuff to you.

 

As for a solution to your problem--Don’t lose sleep over it. It’s not worth it. Publicly announce that you don’t have time to answer all messages, but you’ll answer the ones you can. That’s the truth of the matter.

 

A secret, separate Facebook for friends and family could work. Then try to make the one fan page more personal, so everyone can feel connected.

 

Or you could have someone temporarily run your Facebook account to get the count of need-to-replies down. (I’ll volunteer for that position.) ;) Then, again. I wouldn't be able to know your friends from fans. So, that might not work. Darn!

 

By the way, I don’t know if you are aware but there is a Twitter account that claims to be you. And I remember you saying you’re not into Twitter. Just wanted you to know.

 

Don’t know if I helped you any. At least I gave you something to think about. :) Cause that's really what you needed, right? Even more to think about. B)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A simple solution could be a quick message saying you can't accept anymore friend requests or respond one on one to fans, and then point them to this forum. If they really are fans they shouldn't have a problem joining it and they'd probably have a better chance of a reply to any questions they ask.

 

Either way its not worth stressing over dude. Its only Facebook ;)

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Thanks you bunch ;)

I keep everything in mind and naturally want to work out some kind of solution but I also hear what you're saying.

And in truth, to a great extent that's pretty much what I've been doing, keeping as on top of it as I can as reasonably as I can.

Maybe that in and of itself IS the only solution ;)

 

Love the comments, this is ongoing so please speak your peace if you have a thought.

My thanks - Tim

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A simple solution could be a quick message saying you can't accept anymore friend requests or respond one on one to fans, and then point them to this forum. If they really are fans they shouldn't have a problem joining it and they'd probably have a better chance of a reply to any questions they ask.

 

Either way its not worth stressing over dude. Its only Facebook ;)

 

 

It's true, it's not worth stressing over. But then I'm the kinda fella that DOES stress over wanting the folks around him to be happy.

Whether it's through my work or just my friendship, or life in general.

I don't agonize ;)

Most of the time I'm pretty realistic about it. This one just never goes away ;)

It's been on my mind for a while so I thought it a good idea to share with you bunch - Who are always thoughtful and helpful.

 

Cheers - Tim

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Tim,

 

Go ahead and auction off my friend slot, my daughter's friend slot, my ex-wife's friend slot, and my assistant's friend slot. Maybe you can get something out of all this effort you are putting into it. We'll still be your friend when it really counts anyway.

 

Mike

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Well Tim, my friend, you must have just gotten that ONE extra thing that made you say "You know what? Fuck it, I'm gonna go vent to my RAW people" hahaha.

 

I think this is an awesome topic to talk about. So let me put in my two cents. Or I'll try to put in 20 dollars like Tim did ;)

 

Alright let's talk about what I dislike first:

 

Well for starters, I hate getting requests from people I don't know. I hate getting requests from people I USED to know as well. Here is what goes on in my head when I get these requests: Why the fuck should I accept your friend request and have you occupy space on my friends lists when we are never likely to interact and I probably won't even bother looking at your page. You're just going to sit there on my friends list and collect dust.... WOW we went to elementary school together. WOW we have 2 friends in common. WOW, we like the same movie. Does that mean I have to accept you? No. I don't want to waste my time with such things. I'm not trying to say I'm better than these people because I'm not. I'm just as human as anyone else of course. It's just that these little things aggravate me.

 

Most people who know me know that I live in Michigan and that I'm an actor and also do stunt work and stunt coordination/fight choreography. I've been fortunate enough to build myself a decent resume and in doing so, many people are prompted to send friend requests my way. People I don't know. People asking me what to do and how to get an agent and where they can find auditions and such. It bothers the shit out of me. People I haven't talked to in YEARS who had no desire to be an actor/actress or work in stunts now all of a sudden come up to me saying "Hey I'm trying to be an actor, how do I get my SAG card? How do I get an agent? How do I audition?". Really? I wanna slap someone. So now, some fuckin ass who never bothered to talk to me in school years ago suddenly cares how I'm doing and tried to ease themselves in to getting info from me. It makes me want to chop them in their throats. Same goes for fellow actors trying to make their way into the industry. Like I said, I'm not better than these people and even though I'm doing decent for myself in the Michigan Film Industry, I'm still a nobody. And I like to give and help out, but I feel USED in these cases. There's a certain way you go about it you know?

 

For reasons like the ones I listed, I often deny people almost every day. If I don't feel like there is some "use" to linking with those sending me a friend request, then sorry, I won't accept you. Simple as that. Like Tim, I politely and respectfully explain why I cannot accept the request....I only do that if there are MANY friends that are in common between myself and the person who sent me the request. Other than that, I'll simply deny the request. I've been fortunate enough to not have any negative feedback in regards to my denial.

 

Another thing I dislike about Facebook is how PUBLIC the page is. I mean, you can filter what you want to be seen and such but my goodness....you post one thing to a particular person and everyone has to say something about it and get in your business. I like the inbox because of this...it's more private and direct and unless I link or "tag" multiple people into my inbox messages, it's just between that other person and myself which is better than the "wall". I can understand why a man like our very own Tim Bradstreet would be annoyed and strongly dislike the inbox. He's a busy ass dude and has a HUGE fan base. If he posts something on his wall it's more than likely for everyone to see but if someone sends him a message in his inbox, it's DIRECTLY targeted to him and he is expected to respond to whomever sent him the message. Hell I've even sent him multiple messages but understand his situation so I don't get bent out of shape if he doesn't respond. I can cry to him on here anyways :) ... It's gotta be a bitch trying to be the good guy in this case. I wouldn't know what the fuck to do if I had 900 messages in my inbox. I think if it reached that point for me, I would just completely get rid of my Facebook. In this case, I would think that I was too busy to give the little time that I had to spare to Facebook. I can find an alternative way to communicate by that point I would think.

 

So those are most of the things I dislike Facebook for. Let's talk about what I do LIKE about Facebook:

 

For one, I get to communicate with long lost people that I WANT to communicate with. I'm able to interact with many of you guys from here on Facebook as well which is great.

 

I have a hell of a film network on Facebook too. Lot's of fellow actors and stunt men are a part of Facebook and I regularly network with them. We're a rather close-knit group over here in Michigan. We help each other out a lot and send each other audition notifications and networking events as well. There are also casting directors that post auditions on their pages. That's a great thing for guys like myself and Andy. I strongly recommend a Facebook page for people in my situation or something similar. That being said, best of luck to those of you who have similar goals to mine.

 

Anyways so that's what I think of Facebook and social networks that are similar to it. Great topic to post Street! I don't think I've said so much on these boards in a minute. It's 5:30 in the morning and I'm typing this shit out as I'm watching Married With Children. I enjoy Al "Four Touchdowns in One Game" Bundy.

 

-Raf

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That's a tough one. Not really though. People should understand that there is a limit and being someone in the art/entertaiment arena, you will fill that limit. A personal page should be for you to decide. These "fans" that get all upset should realize that most of your posts are the same on both pages. Maybe you should put that on the invite. The bad part is, there is never going to be a "good" solution. It's just up to the folks who you have to deal with.

 

As for being "pretentious", come on. Sure, you can't answer every question thrown your way, but between here, facebook, and your typepad, you get to connect with a lot of folks, and that is a very cool experience for us. There are lots of people out there who don't even bother to connect. I'm with your wife here, I'd like to slap 'em, but they're never going to get it. What they don't realize is that you are not the guy pulling down millions of dollars every year and keep a staff on hand to do it all for you. You are behind the keyboard.

 

It sucks, and I feel for you, but if it makes you feel better, you're lightyears ahead of lots of people with makeing that connection fans. You can only give so much, and you give a lot, Tim. Trust me, it's much appretiated.

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Thanks you bunch ;)

I keep everything in mind and naturally want to work out some kind of solution but I also hear what you're saying.

And in truth, to a great extent that's pretty much what I've been doing, keeping as on top of it as I can as reasonably as I can.

Maybe that in and of itself IS the only solution ;)

 

Love the comments, this is ongoing so please speak your peace if you have a thought.

My thanks - Tim

 

We're always here to help you out. All ya gotta do is ask. ;)

 

It's true, it's not worth stressing over. But then I'm the kinda fella that DOES stress over wanting the folks around him to be happy.

Whether it's through my work or just my friendship, or life in general.

I don't agonize ;)

Most of the time I'm pretty realistic about it. This one just never goes away ;)

It's been on my mind for a while so I thought it a good idea to share with you bunch - Who are always thoughtful and helpful.

 

Cheers - Tim

 

Tim, we never want you to change your beliefs as a person. It's great that you do enjoy keeping in contact with fans. But, when it gets out of hand, the party has to end. Right?

 

Again, as long as you try offering solutions, that really should be enough. Padre is right. If they want to become a member of RAW, no one is stopping them.

 

Remember that Facebook should be a leisure activity, not a priority. Don't let it run your life, and you'll be just fine. :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Raffi,

 

Couldn't help but notice you had more cons than pros, buddy. To think, you actually wanted me to join this mess. :lol:

 

Your cons are the reasons I avoided Facebook in the first place. And clearly, you feel passionate about this topic.

 

If it causes so many problems, why keep it? Is it really worth this kind of stress?

 

I'm sorry that people use you. :( You don't deserve that kind of treatment. You should be respected and left alone.

 

When all else fails, Married...With Children is a great way to cheer yourself up. ;) Love that show. Though, I always watch Seinfeld to do the trick. But anyways...now I'm thinking about TV instead of Facebook. Which does make me less upset, since now everytime I hear the word Facebook, I'll be associating it with the crap that you and Tim have to take. That's not fair to you guys. The nerve of some people, but what are you gonna do?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Indie,

 

 

My whole life has more cons then pros, that's just how it is for me at the moment ;) . It is what it is. It may come off that I stress over it but I really don't. It hasn't reached that degree. If and when it does, then it's bye bye Facebook. No need to apologize for people using me. This is the society we live in. Not much we can do about it. I figure if I give a little help to those trying to "use" me, then I did something good and they can't say shit back. If they do, well then they can see me and I'll break my foot off in their asses :)

 

I would rather watch Seinfeld or Friends instead of Married With Children, but they're not on tv from 4-7am lol. Married With Children is.

 

 

-Raffi

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I'll open with Facebook.

There is a lot to like and a lot to . . . not like ;)

 

At least you have a friend page that's semi-open. A few of the "famous" people I know have a very private personal FB profile page, no photo, sometimes even a pseudonym, so that page is reserved only for people they know in real life. I think there's even a setting where you can't friend them, they have to reach out to you.

 

Then they have the fan page that, as you said, has no member limits, anyone can join, through which they send messages, post photos, announce events.

 

They find it easier to manage things that way cause, let's face it, unfortunately the world is full of arseholes. I had a relatively successful musician friend who did as you did and accepted everyone. He stopped that after his wife (also on Facebok) started getting loads of messages from female fans calling her all kinds of things and accusing her of "stealing" their man. (She must have done this through the use of a time machine since they were married well before he 'made it'.)

 

That's to say you're a cool guy and it's great that you accept friend requests as well as having the fan page, but - and you'd know this better than me - there's always going to be people for whom you're never going to be able to do enough, not even if you went to their house painted them a mural, made them a sandwich, and read them a bedtime story.

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Indie,

 

 

My whole life has more cons then pros, that's just how it is for me at the moment ;) . It is what it is. It may come off that I stress over it but I really don't. It hasn't reached that degree. If and when it does, then it's bye bye Facebook. No need to apologize for people using me. This is the society we live in. Not much we can do about it. I figure if I give a little help to those trying to "use" me, then I did something good and they can't say shit back. If they do, well then they can see me and I'll break my foot off in their asses :)

 

I would rather watch Seinfeld or Friends instead of Married With Children, but they're not on tv from 4-7am lol. Married With Children is.

 

 

-Raffi

 

I know that's life, but I wish it could improve. It's good you know when to say, "Enough is enough."

 

Really glad that you can remain positive, Raffi. :) It takes a strong person to do that.

 

 

 

 

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I know that's life, but I wish it could improve. It's good you know when to say, "Enough is enough."

 

Really glad that you can remain positive, Raffi. :) It takes a strong person to do that.

 

 

Thank you dear. I'm quite the strong man ;)

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I've had a different set of issues with fb. For the most part I use it to connect with filmmakers and promote myself. Well that and Zynga games.

 

Trying to network with film people on fb is a bitch though because every asshole who can get his hands on a camera thinks he's a filmmaker and hell, some people are just full of shit for whatever reason.

 

The big guys will pretty much ignore you because, hey, they already have hundreds of people knocking down there door everywhere they go and all sorts of name talent that want to work with them. It's TOTALLY understandable to me. Especially since I've even acquired a few borderline stalkers.

 

However, I have been able to meet some VERY cool folks through fb and even score a couple of paying gigs. I have about 12 films in talks right now and ALL of them were bridged, in one way or another, through social networking sites.

 

Being in Texas, it's really my only connection to what's going on in the great beyond.

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